After posting that last video, I loaded up my Mariah Carey playlist, and that got me reminiscing back a couple of years ago.

For kicks, I loaded up my LiveJournal account to see who was active. Back before I started working on Tabulas, I spent a lot of time on LiveJournal, kicking it with some random people.

I felt a pang of disappointment when I realized I could never reach out again to most of these people (some had completely deleted their accounts, while others had just stopped posting).

People move on with their lives - I just wish I knew they were doing alright.

One of the biggest downsides to the growth of sites like Twitter & Facebook is that they've destroyed the ability for people to share their stories. I'm of the belief that all of us have a story to share, and we do a disservice to ourselves and others by keeping these stories to ourselves. The human condition is shared, and we should make the most of our ability to reason and communicate.

I used to spend hours just clicking through on LiveJournal accounts and reading on the joys and sorrows of random people. You can't do that with Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr. I don't know if I simply grew older, or if people just don't do that anymore. I ran across a Tabulas account recently which reminded me of why I grew to cherish Tabulas so much in the early days. Unlike the false truths we throw up on sites like Facebook and Twitter to brand ourselves (even subconsciously), there's a fresh truth in reading anonymous personal entries. I read that stuff and go, "Wow, that was me. I'm not alone."

This journal used to be like that, but I've found it much harder to write like that lately. The truth is that I simply can't go into that level of detail, since most of it is work-related (or is tangentially related to work). With my position at the company, I simply can't share that, even if I'm simply being brutally honest. C'est la vie.

I'm not sure what it is, but I've been on a huge sentimental kick over the past few weeks (ever since my NC trip). For the past few years, I've really grown to appreciate my parents and the sacrifices they made for me, and seeing my NC friends again this time reminded me of all the good times I had with them. It also reminded me how well I had it to kick it with them.

But there's a huge sadness in coming to grips with the reality that as we grow up, we drift apart as friends. I guess that's why I've been getting more sentimental lately, and why I've been getting so worked up about traditional holiday activities like cooking Thanksgiving dinner with good company and putting up a Christmas tree. Every time I do these activities, it takes me back to the memories associated with those activities in the past.

Even if they were just from last year, it's amazing how much I've felt like I've grown over the past year. It's not that there were situations that drove these changes - my position inside MindTouch hasn't changed, and there haven't been anything that's changed in my personal life. I look at life a lot differently than I used to, and that's all that matters.

I know I have my job to thank for that - in a lot of ways, it forced me to grow up a lot faster. I don't know how I ended up here, but I know that it was a series of long struggles and a lot of soul-searching.

My family is healthy, I have an appreciation for those people in my life who've shaped it, I have a wonderful job, and I'm happy. I no longer struggle with insomnia on a regular basis, and I no longer question who I am or what it is I'm to do. I've found direction in my life, and I'm thankful that I have the will, the drive, the people, and smarts to push forward in that direction.

And for that, I'm thankful.

I can't believe it's been a year since my trip to Big Sur:

Check this Korean girl belting Mariah Carey's "My All":

Holy smokes! She doesn't have the fullness of Mariah - she reminds me far more of a younger Christina Aguilera... but still, incredibly impressive.

(I almost busted out laughing at 1:28, cause she lets that Korean accent slip in with that "imagining..." line)

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I got a copy of How to Cook Everything: Simple Recipes for Great Food - I can't believe I hadn't heard of this book before. It's a pretty massive book (I got it used on Amazon for $8, including shipping) and it covers not only recipes, but some "theory" behind cooking - the first chapter covers when to use certain equipment and such. From a cursory glance, I'm not sure about a lot of the recipes - they seem pretty simplistic, but I definitely get the feeling that the recipes here will be something to build upon later.

I highly recommend you go out and get a copy (get it used); I'll definitely be trying out some of the recipes in this book for the next few weeks!

"The only thing that matters is just following your heart, and eventually you'll finally get it right:"

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What's up? It's been a minute, haha.

Actually it's only been a week, but considering the events in my life change astoundingly fast and drama is always just around the bend... haha, well, things happen. Let's get caught up, shall we?

Wellllllll I am now officially, a Hooters Girl! Server trained, certified, all that jazz! I take my first two tables on Wednesday. Now confessions... I cheated on two out of the 5 tests. Bad, bad, bad, but encouraged by two of my coworkers... I'm sure this will bite me in the ass if I don't study sufficiently before my next shift, ha.

Suzy and I have been getting close lately, we've been hanging out more frequently, she's a doll, sort of dim, but a sweetheart. I know it may sound harsh for me to call my friend "dim," but allow me to explain. As gorgeous and funny as she is, she's not all there in a rational sense. Aside from her terrifying driving habits (tailgating, texting while driving, fumbling around with her playlist as we continue to swerve out of our lane), she informed me of her rather haphazard sexual habits which both amazed and bewildered me. She had gotten pregnant before, and induced a miscarriage by hitting her stomach and praying for one. Yeah, she dropped this while we're speeding along precariously towards State. Then she told me that her and her most recent ex would have sex all the time... without a condom... she's not on the pill. Umm. WRONG. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, you were pregnant before, and you just let him cum on your stomach, in the hopes that he didn't precum inside you and IMPREGNATE you. I just stared at her with my jaw dropped and babbled something about how bad that is and how she MUST be more careful. "Yeah you would think I learned from the first time..." "Why didn't you just get an abortion?" "I don't really believe in that." UHHHH YOU SORT OF INDUCED AN ABORTION ANYWAYS SOOOO... ahh Suzy. My crazy/beautiful coworker. She boasts about being liked by all the managers, that Mark let her take the menu test 6 times even though the allotment is usually 3 - but I think they like her because she's gorgeous but simple, she'll do what she's told without objection.

It's funny cause the day before my last shift, I was studying and I got this IM from Chris. Earlier last week I'd snapped at him because of his lack of availability for our, well to say it blatantly, booty calls. After pissing Ed off, my sex life has been reduced dramatically, and a horny Destiny is not a very friendly one, but I guess I've been putting the energy to productive use. Haha. Anyways, with Chris denying me two days in a row, I was done with him, and I told him I was done with trying. So Thursday night, I was surprised to receive an invite to come over to his house. I made myself up quickly and raced over to his place, where we had a pleasantly rough and passionate sack session. I was very pleased with that, exes are only good for sex, as Nyle has always said. Thankfully I have no real emotion towards him, in regards to wanting to be with him. Amazing!

Friday training at work was going perfect up until a dude from the bar bounded away from his seat and slammed me into a lower chair, crunching my ribs and nearly knocking me to the ground. I had to report the incident to the medical nurse affiliated with Hooters, in case this work related injury gets worse... it hurt so bad, I didn't go to work the next day... which would have been my first day of taking tables. Cool. I did get an oil change done though. Success.

Saturday I went to the gym (minimal work out due again to bruised ribs) and I impulsively called Carmela for lunch. This is called Day of Compulsive Actions in my calendar. We talked for a long time about her Justin and my Aaron, and she encouraged me to text him for a booty call. Of course, I was all about this plan. Let me explain further that Aaron began talking to me again, beginning last Monday. Obviously, my lust for Aaron has not subsided, but my like for him, has actually faded. (Although he did just IM me on facebook which sorta caused my heart to palpitate - that would happen as I boast about being over him). I went to a party first at Hardy, he was closing at work, so I preoccupied my time with Sierra and Suzy there. We got Trujilos after which was divine... I ran into T-bo there, we had our awkward/insane sexual chemistry moment, and then fun time began when Aaron texted me back at 1145:

We had fun, he's all about foreplay man... I can't deal with so much, I'm all about the act itself lol. I think I actually dozed off as we were fooling around. GIVE ME A BREAK, I got there around 1245, I chugged Malibu, and then we watched TV... I was seriously exhausted from the day, plus I think my bruised ribs are trying to recover. Anyways. When we actually got around to the dick sucking and so forth (hahaha Carmela has me talking so blatantly again) he flipped me into 69 - one of my least favorite positions ever. And then there was reverse cowgirl, smooth segue, however again, not one of my favorites - too impersonal, and plus my ass is like in his face. Although it's a lot more toned now, I gym it so much now... hahaha. So this morning... I grabbed all my shit and bounced, didn't wake him up... just hit the road. It was kinda badass and cowardly all at once, but I'd like to stick with badass. I left him a text message saying I wasn't trying to be rude, I didn't want to wake him up, and to hold on to my movie for me. He sent me a text tonight saying he needed his rest, and next time we should do it earlier... he correctly assumes I'm down to fuck him again haha. Happily ever after... except not even lol.

Hmm. What else... I don't work Thanksgiving. I'm taking my mom to see New Moon, I think we'll have fun. Haha she's been so good to me lately, helped me study for all my Hooters stuff:

And this message is for Sylvia Aziz! I appreciate the comment, I'm glad my chaotic and rather ridiculous interactions with guys has been of some help/amusement to you, hahaha I'm flattered, I tried to find you on facebook as you suggested but came up with quite a few results, feel free to leave your url!

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One of my many weird quirks is spreadsheeting of my car's gas mileage. I track every gas fill-up: the date, the mileage, and the total spent. I started keeping this data with the intention of one day figuring out the long-term value of owning a Mazda 3 versus getting a hybrid (I almost bought a Prius three years ago).

Some numbers from owning the Mazda3 for three years:

• Total miles: 16,462
• Total gas consumption: 533 gallons
• Average MPG: 30.85
• Average price per gallon: $3.02
• Total spent on gas: $1,611.58
  

If I had gotten a Prius, assuming a 46 MPG, I would have spent $1,081 on gas. That's a difference of about $600 spread over three years. With a price differential of ~$8K at purchase time (even with the $3K tax credit), I managed to save significant amounts of money by getting the Mazda3.

And as a general three year review of the Mazda3? I love the thing. Getting it in Carolina blue was a mistake; if I could go back, I'd also get the hatchback. My one complaint about the car is that the angle of the back window causes it to catch a LOT of dust - it gets dirty incredibly easy.

But besides that - it's a fun car to drive (pretty responsive), perfect size for the city, well sized for passengers, low maintenance (no problems thus far), and has managed to be able to transfer almost all the furniture I've bought without a problem! (This streak was unfortunately broken today when I mistakenly assumed the Benchwright Coffee Table from Pottery Barn came in pieces - it comes in one big piece).

(And now I finally have a coffee table!)

... but I find interesting. I've been watching the AGU-CF-TRA love triangle and things are starting to heat up.

AGU, which is trying to take over CF, seems to be gaining success with their bid, with 62% of shares voting for the takeover. Meanwhile, yesterday, CF got three of its nominees to the TRA board (ousting the chairman) - a pretty good indication of what TRA shareholders want.

So TRA shareholders want to be bought out by CF (while the TRA board of directors does not), while CF shareholders want to be bought out by AGU (while the CF board of directors does not).

Interesting. (I pretty much exited my long position from before, leaving just a small amount in place to catch any additional upside - I'll initiative a long in another one of the players next week)

Here's some coverage on MindTouch Cloud:

• MindTouch Joins Google, Zoho in Collaboration Cloud
• MindTouch Cloud: The Open Source Alternative to Sharepoint and Salesforce.com?
• Sharepoint Watch Out - Mindtouch Goes SaaS 
• MindTouch launches its open source cloud

Good stuff. I can't believe it's Thanksgiving next weekend! Time flies...